Update for tomorrow

Found out, that my lab values are where they need to be in order for me to receive chemotherapy. Therefore, tomorrow is the day! Glad to be sitting down to fight my disease. (The infusion center gives us nice recliner's to keep patients comfortable during infusion)

Hope this answers any questions you might have.

Tiff

12/26/08

Every week, before I'm infused with chemotherapy, I have blood draw to see what my counts are. The lowest lab value I can have, and still receive chemo is 1000. Today, my lab values were 900; to low to receive chemotherapy.

If you reflect back to the last time I was to get a third round of Navalebine, my values were to low, I ran a fever, and ended up back in the hospital. I feel okay today, and don't have any interest in being admitted anymore in 2008! Waiting to talk with my regular Oncologist on Monday, is the best thing for me.

Once I know the plan, I'll let you guys know what's up.

Off to take a nap!

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas family & friends!

What a special day this has been. To wake up is a blessing, but to have my husband, dog, and son all right here under the same roof, is a special blessing for me. Having my mom here, would have been the cherry on top of the sundae. (unfortunately, she had to go back to Wisconsin a little over a week ago)

The gifts were beautifully decorated; I love the colorful wrapping paper & ribbon. The lights on the Christmas tree are pretty fantastic too! This year, the three of us, drove around & looked at the various house's decorated in lights; there is one house that coordinates lights to music, and I can't explain how neat that is to watch! Very cool! Anyway, I always enjoy the beauty of Christmas decorating.

I'm thankful to be alive. Tomorrow is another dose of Navalebine, and I'm thankful that I've got the oppurtunity to fight cancer again. A month ago, each hour was uncertain. (to say the least) I promise to fight cancer like I fought to live last month. I'm not as healthy or strong as I was before my admission back in November, but I'm eager to put up the fight, determined to win!

Happy holidays friends and family. I hope you are happy, healthy and thankful, especially today.

Tired

Hi folks-
Tired is what this newest chemotherapy drug makes me. I slept through the infusion, during the car ride home, hours & hours once Steve put me back to bed, and slept most of Friday away. I sleep 14hours a day, easily. Most of you know that, I really hate sleeping my life away (I'd rather be up and about doing & living), but I'm just going to assume that my body is still healing and I need the rest; therefore still living!

I'm not doing much away from the house. I went on two outings this past week (not including the hospital), one being the movies. What fun that was to go out on a date! I felt a little self conscience about wearing oxygen out in public, but that feeling didn't last long. It sure did feel good to do something "normal".

My next chemo will be Friday, because of Christmas. This way, I get to stay awake for the holiday,which is turning out to be extra special, because Cas (the son) was able to come back and spend the holidays with us. Yipppeee!

I hope your Christmas is as blessed as our's is. Take care....

3rd dose of Navalebine

12/11/08 appointments went without issues, and the days events couldn't have been anymore well planned. I had an encouraging appointment with my Oncologist; who is currently doing a good job at making me feel comfortable with him. (since he is new to my case) Then the wait to go to Interventional Radiology, where I got my new mediport placed, wasn't to harsh. At first there was a paperwork mishap, but it was quickly resolved, and I was soon off to be admitted. Since I had been admitted to day surgery a couple of times there before, some of the nurse's remembered me; it is always nice to be remembered!

The staff at Interventional Radiology are great! They remembered me from a few other visits too, calling me by name when I rolled thru the door. The nurse's made me feel comfortable, and I think, even eased some of Steve's worry too. I felt confident in the doctor who took the time to explain a mediport, how it was placed, and fielded any question that was presented to him. (my mother was there, and after the three weeks I've had recently, she was full of questions) I am happy with my new mediport, and am happy with the care I received in I.R.

While I was quickly recovering, I had a nice chat with mom, a good snack, and a couple of nice visitors. One even brought me chocolate, all the way from Germany. He was a very thoughtful visitor! 8-) I was soon ready to head over to the Infusion Unit, where I was scheduled to get chemo.

After another, very small, paperwork issue that was quickly resolved, I waited only a short time for my chemotherapy, Navalebine, to come from the Pharmacy. I knew a gal who was there getting treatment, so I sat and chatted with her until my drug was ready. Our time seemed to go by too quick, since we had a lot to share. She too, has the weight of the world on her shoulders, and so I was glad to sit, and listen to her for a few minutes. Navalebine, is IV push that only takes a quick 30minutes, so we were in and out of there in no time flat. (at least that is how it felt!)

I'm not gonna lie to you; I don't remember much about the trip home! I do remember it raining, no pouring. I remember all stop, traffic, and I remember Steve telling me to go back to sleep,often. Other than those few things, I magically appeared home. Mom came in another vehicle, and made it back to the house safe too. After a quick shower, I was put to bed, and woke up sometime today, only to be up long enough to eat and attempt to watch General Hospital! I've been making up for lost sleep these last couple of days, so why should post-chemo be any different!

Hope this fills ya'll in some. Have you checked out Steve's blog recently. Over the last several months, you girls have asked why he hadn't blogged. Well, he did, so go check it out. It is kind of lengthy, so read it when you've got a few minutes. Otherwise, write me sometime, and let me know how you are doing. Hope each of you are healthy and happy! Take care-Tiffany

Just an update

Hi Family&Friends-
A quick update to let you know that I'm 45-50% better than I was when I left the hospital. Since my release, two other issues have developed, but I got into see the doctor quickly, so things are under control.

My pain is easing up, to where I can go about 4-6hrs in between quick release pain medications. I still take on the hour, every 12hrs, long acting pain medications. All the pain that I'm experiencing currently, is from the wrong site procedure that was done; not cancer. Please keep that in mind, when you are thinking about all that I'm enduring. If it wasn't for the wrong site procedure, I wouldn't be suffering like this.

Moving on: tomorrow, 12/11/08, I am scheduled to receive a new mediport. I'm almost looking forward to this, because my one and only arm (the left arm) is swollen and badly bruised. The mediport, will ensure no more missed needle sticks, or blown IV's. Once the mediport is in place, I'm scheduled to receive #3 chemotherapy. Because my lab values were to poor last week, my chemo had to be delayed to this week. Keep your fingers crossed for good lab work!

Hopefully, we'll all be on our way home, before traffic gets to bad. As a post-minor surgery/chemo patient, I'm not wanting to sit in traffic.

Thanks to all of you that have been calling & writing. Your letters mean the world to me! I even got a homemade note from a gal-friends, daughter! I feel very fortunate to have so many people cheering me on; Thank You!

More news to follow! Take care-Tiff

Steve's newest blog entry

This is Karen and I just wanted to make sure that everyone that checks this blog regularly sees that Steve has posted in his blog a very in detail and poignant record of what has gone on with them for the last few weeks.

Tiffany is going home today

Tiffany's count is up from 576 to 888 today so it looks like she gets to go home today.

Yeah !!!!!!!!!!!!

Hospital Stay Update

Another day in the hospital, due to low blood counts. I also have low oxygen blood levels, but that seems to be the lesser of the two worries. Having a low white count, means that folks coming into my room need to wear a mask. I'm also on contact precautions, because I have "Shingles". Don't know how many of you have had Shingles, but its painful & ugly, to say the least.

Don't know if ya'll realize that I've been in the hospital two weeks today. I did go home for 17hrs, but I ended up right back at the hospital, and eventually in my same room. It's tiresome to be here this long. Cas & Steve have been here daily, and have spent the night, without complaint, every night. My mom has been here too, and that has been nice!. She also spent the night once, in hopes of giving the guys a break, but she hated that adventure! Being woke up constantly, isn't her cup to tea. Now that the guys are back on the watch, everybody (mostly me)is happy again.

Please keep your fingers crossed for higher blood counts! Thanks for all the show of support too! I really, really need it while I'm locked up here on the Oncology floor! Ya'll take care.....

Hi friends!

To my great friends and family-
Thank you for your concern and support over the these last few days! I've been hanging onto the strength that you folks have been giving me. All the love and prayers from each of you, are what is helping me get thru this.

I dont know all that has happened to me. Steve and I haven't had that conversation yet, because I'm not strong enough. I'm on many, mnay drugs and have zero strength. This is from the Thorax trama issues as well as the chemotherapy. It is going to take a while, but I will bounce back,

For now, I'll be in the hospital,probaby until Friday. After that, we'll just have to see. I can't tell you if I'll be well enough to receive chemo on Friday, but that is the tenative plan.

My lab values (white counts mostly) are causing me lots of trouble, which is a side effect from chemo (to be expected). In the meantime, I just sleep alot and enjoy my family.

Thank you for your concern. With Steve and Karen blogging, I feel like ya'll are goinng to be well informed. If not, your have our numbers! Please take care of yourself.

update on Tiffany for 11/25/08

From Steve:

Tiffany had the chest tube removed this afternoon and is breathing much better. Things seem to be looking up for her. They are even saying that there is a slight chance that she may get to be home for Thanksgiving. She is still very tired and getting lots of sleep is crucial to her recovery. The doctors suggest that she limit her visitors and phone calls so the she can get the rest she needs. But keep the emails of encouragement coming and we will make sure that she sees them.

latest update on Tiffany 11/24/08

From Steve:

As of 1730 today it had been 72 hours since Tiffany had chemo. The next 24 will tell alot. She is breathing on her own but it is still difficult. She still has the chest tube in but they may remove that tomorrow. She is running a fever but hopefully that will break soon. She will be allowed to "eat" dinner tonight (some ensure).


Please continue to keep both Tiffany and Steve and Cas in your prayers

latest update on Tiffany

From Steve:

1. Tiffany is off of all pain medications and sedatives.

2. She still has a breathing tube in but the ventilator is turned off and she is breathing on her own

3. They are hoping to extubate (take out the breathing tube) this afternoon

4. She still has the chest tube in but that has really helped in draining the fluid from her lungs and making it easier for her to breathe.

5. She is starting to make up and open her eyes and she is giving the "OK" signal.



They want to thank everyone for all of their well wishes and for those of you who have asked she is on the 3rd floor ICU at Portsmouth Naval Medical Center. It is ok to send something to her there they just can not be living (ie. plants, flowers)

Update on Tiffany

From Steve:

Tiffany is now intubated and her breathing is being assisted with a ventilator. She has a chest tube in to drain her lungs. She is resting most of the time but that is what she needs right now. Cas and Steve are with her and her mom will getting here today.


From Karen:

I will make sure and keep everyone updated as I get information. I will also make sure that they are aware of all of the well wishes you have all sent

Tiffany's condition

I am posting this on behalf of Tiffany and Steve......



Tiffany has been admitted to the ICU at Portsmouth Naval Medical Center today 11/21/08. Her condition is not good. She is having alot of trouble breathing and keeping her vital signs where they should be. The doctors are doing what they can for her but say that at this point it is touch and go.



Please keep them both in your payers,

Karen Moore

Another November Update

Hi all-
This is the new plan: Go on vacation, return & the same day, go to fill out admission paperwork for mediport placement on the 25th. Doc says I might get a new version; one that allows antibiotics, blood, CT contrast, as well as chemotherapy. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, & even said I'd wait for it to be available, but Steve says no.

The 26th, I'll have PET scan number eight, as a baseline for this next round of chemo. My Navy Oncologist read the CT from November 5th, starting that my cancer is still growing. This gave me relief, (I know-crazy) because I felt like the trial drug wasn't working, and for several other reasons,I stopped participating. Now I know, I made the right decision, early!

Cas will be here for Thanksgiving! This visit was unplanned, and so you've got to know, I am thrilled!

December 2 will be the first day of my next round of chemo. The infusion's will be once a week, for three weeks, and then off a week. At this point, this schedule will take place for an undetermined amount of time.

3weeks of a clinical trial & a night as an inpatient

Dear Friends & Family-
As most of you know, I've been participating with Duke Oncology department in one of their many clinical trials. October 15 was my first dose of this "trial" drug, and Wednesday November 5, was my last dose of it.

The short version of the story is that I developed a Pleural Effusion while on the clinical trial. Walking around normal, even demonstrating my lung capacity by doing laps around the Oncology department, my oxygen saturation level was in the 70's. (71 to be exact) Why my only symptom was a little shortness of breath, probably can be blamed on my many years of jogging. There's no explanation while I didn't fall over from lack of oxygen!

Anyway,I'll skip the part where I complain about the 5-6hours I had to wait to get diagnosed, sitting in the hallway because they were to busy to put me in a room, eventually admitted, and my favorite part-- never seeing my Oncologist again while I was admitted to her hospital.... oh wait, I complained. Sorry ya'll! Shoot, there was no way to avoid that....

I was admitted by some General Practice MD, who's two residents did a nice job with me. They even let me argue my case for no IV's, since I had already been stuck during my various appointments throughout the day. Just when I thought I had'em worn down, my sensible husband chimed in to tell me to "let the take care of you". I wont put into writing what I thought at that moment, but I'll tell you folks, that I listened! With that IV, I got three doses of steroids, and Lasix which are normal medications to rid the lungs of fluid. I sat & even slept with my oxygen on the entire time I was there; although I tried spending as much time in the bathroom where the tubing couldn't reach! Steve monitored every minute that I was off oxygen, giving me a little bit of free time off from it, but had me right back to doing what I was supposed to, in no time! Durn him, for taking such great care of me!

I was released (the staff probably cheered) on Thursday late in the afternoon. Which wouldn't necessarily matter, except now we had our usual 220mile, 3+ hour trip back to Virginia Beach. I've never said anything more honest than this: Sleeping in my own bed last night, was the best sleep I've ever gotten! Man, do I feel like a new person today! I'm still a little SOB, but I just take breaks. Wouldn't ya'll do the same? I don't know what the big deal is; can you tell me?

That is all I have for now. Thankfully, its not all bad news, like I normally share! I'm now in between chemotherapy treatments, and am not sure what comes next. I have to think, I have to decide what I want to do? As you know already, I'll let ya'll know when I do. Until then, please write me and let me know how things are with you and yours.

Oh yeah, thanks for letting me complain earlier!

October update

Hi friends & family!
After being on the trial drug almost a week, I wanted to report to you that I am doing okay! Currently, I'm taking two pills in the morning, and two in the evening as chemotherapy, instead of going to an infusion center weekly. The convience of this by mouth drug, at home, is going to make fighting cancer a whole lot easier.

So far, only frequent naps is my only side effect. I'm still sore from the liver biopsy, so still milking that! (sshh, don't tell Steve!) Otherwise, I feel okay. I'm not the strong, running type I once was, but considering, I feel okay!

October 2008 race for the cure, Virginia was a hit. Team Tiffany-VA stood out in the 58'rain & wind, for hours! There were more people to show up than I thought there would be, considering the terrible weather. THANKS FOLKS!! Even though the weather was shitty, I had a good time! I certainly am thankful for all the support the 2008 team put fourth!

Race for the cure, Hawaii participated on Sunday the 19th. I hear that the day was beautiful, warm, but not hot, and a little over cast. Lots of stollers this year, along with new faces. Again, I am very thankful for the support of the team! I appreciate those who put together the team (and all the effort that goes into that!), as well as those who joined. I only wish that I could have been there to thank each of you personally.

I am a lucky gal!

Tiffany's update for 15 Oct

This is Karen posting for Tiffany

I just got a text message from Tiffany that they got some good news for a change and that "I DON'T HAVE BRAIN METZ !!" to quote her. She also said that the liver biopsy went well but she is in lots of pain. She is going straight to bed when she gets home. She also took 1st 2 chemo pills and all is well so far with that. I am sue that she will post more details when she is up to it.

Correction

There was a scheduling conflict with everything on Monday, so instead everything has been switched to Wednesday, October 15th. All the tests are the same: labs, biopsy of the liver, and CT brain before the doctor's visit. Once we learn that I don't have brain cancer, I will start the trial chemotherapy drug.

Hope this note finds everybody well? I haven't gotten any feedback about the music; what's up with that? Let me know what you guys think, please...

Take care

Duke's latest update

After a CT brain, & a liver biopsy, I will start chemotherapy,again, on Monday, October 13,2008.

Music poll?

I was wondering if I could get some input on the music for the website. I was wondering if ya'll could suggest something new? Once I get some ideas, I'll pass them along to you & we can vote what the new musizack can be!

Please let me know whatchya think.....Tiff

Duke's trials

Sorry it has taken me this long to write. I didn't learn enough information to pass onto ya'll, so I didn't know what to write.

I was offered three trials, and I like number three the best. Its a drug that is usually given for the treatment of Leukemia. Currently, Duke is evaluating me to see if I qualify for the trial. I'll let you guys know when I do.

I'm back at Duke on Monday 10-6-08 for lab testing, ekg, bone scan and brain ct. I see the doctor that day, & I'm hopeing she will have me sign consent for the trial then.

For now, we just wait..... again!

7th PET/CT scan results

Well,
I've been trying to figure out what to say, what to share since yesterday afternoon. I was trying to figure out some snappy, or colorful detailed way to say, that I have more cancer. Eleven more, if you only count the quote "several small new" or "three new metabolically active" as one. Its depressing enough to know that cancer is spreading, without counting how many more places it has gone.

Believe it or not, technology is too good these days! The PET part of my scan picks up suspicious spots as small as 4mm. Then the radiologist says "several new small" on the report & I get told my cancer has spread. (it is done in a much more graceful and tactful way than that)However small 'it' maybe, I've got new measurable spots of metastatic disease in: various lymph nodes, 3 spots in the liver,& in the bone-femur, pubic,scapula and spine.

Yesterday, I was upset, for many reasons! DUH, right. I'd been expecting to hear, that I was the same as early August, with the exception of the sternum. I was more than hopeful that I was going to have an uneventful office visit. After all, I was in less pain, taking less pain medication, AND all of you kept telling me that I had to be getting better; I was talked into it! Crushed, is how I felt yesterday. That news took away, all the hope I had been storing up & shook my belief foundation once again.

Today is a new day, and even though there is a "nor-easter" hitting our area, my mood is better. I'm bummed that I didn't get the greatest news, but am thankful that my Oncologist still has tricks up his sleeve. I'm visiting Duke Breast Oncology on Monday, September 29, and am assuming that a cutting edge Comprehensive Cancer Institute will have something to offer a patient like me. I'm expecting to hear about clinical trials, and see myself participating in them asap. I will be receiving some kind of chemotherapy treatment by early October.

This, however, will not stop me from walking in the 2nd annual Team Tiffany here in Virginia Beach on October 18th. I'd love to be attending the Hawaii race, on October 19th, but 1)its not enough time to travel 2)I am not made of $$$ these days! I will be there in spirit, cheering on my Hawaii Ohana(family). This year I have a fundraising goal, because I'd like to give something back, and to provide others with great care. I am so fortunate with the great care I've gotten while sick. It saddens me, that others don't get the same kind of wonderful care. So I'm fundraising...

I"m sorry I can't give you guys better news; I wish in so many ways that I could. I hope that you folks know that I'm sad I have to be this "sick", but you gotta know that I'm still the same determined, & pig-headed Tiffany ya'll know & love! lol Please pass onto others that might not have interenet (Miss Amy, Karen Jenkins, The Rev, Kate at Arlington's evening shift,Robyn, Weldon, Gerber, Dana, Gladys, LiAnn, Carm, Uncle Fred......hang on, this is getting to long!) If you could, pass on any information to our mutual friends, I'd appreciate it!

I hope each of you are doing well? Please write me sometime, and let me know what's up! Until then, take care......

Simple & slow, Satruday

I've got nothing to share!

The weather is cooler here in Virgina Beach, and the windows are open. The breeze feels wonderful, and along with the constant of the fans, my hot flashes are minimum. I think Steve is on the chilly side, but he's not complaining.

I feel good, and everybody says I look & sound great; although I'm not sure how I'm supposed to sound or look at this point in living with cancer! My hair is growing in nicely. I've been reading about how to style short hair, and been learning about what products, do what. I'm thankful to have hair.... with the exception of bed hair. WOW,that look is really scary!

On the 23rd, I will have another PET scan (the 7th, I think) here in VA. Then, on the 29th, Steve will drive me to Duke University (Raleigh, NC) to meet with that Oncologist. We are eager to learn about what clinical trials I'm eligible for. Depending on what the Duke MD has to say,I'll probably be starting chemo again by mid-October. If for some reason,the Duke doc offers me something that I'm not agreeable to, I'll be starting chemo here in VA at the beginning of October. Either way, I'll be starting chemo again in October.... yeaeeee for me either way, right!

Life is good! Either way, I'll be fighting my cancer again; letting it know who's boss. I will know more about what will be happening, in the near future, after the appointment on the 29th.

Before I close, I want everybody to be reminded that the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure is coming up in October. If you can't walk in a local "race", please donate just a few $$ to the cause. I personally, thank you for doing so. Take care, and Happy Football Saturday!

Today's Oncology Visit

1)I"m feeling some pain relief that comes from radiation therapy. I"m going 9hours in between pain medication doses. This is a good thing, because for several months there, I was watching the clock and come that fifth hour, I was waiting for the minutes to be close enough to take that pain med. I'd never go the full six hours in between meds, so 9 hours is great! The sunburn from radiation has turned into a great tan, that is in a oval shape smack in between my boobs!

2)Looks like I'll be starting chemotherapy again. The date isn't exact yet, but it will probably be the very end of September, or the very beginning of October. The plans are exact yet, because we aren't going to start anything until we get another PET/CT scan; that's scheduled for 9/23/08. I meet again with my Oncologist on 9/25/08to finalize the chemotherapy plans. No worries though, the drugs will be different than before. Its fine, don't worry.

Steve & I are doing fine with this news; we kind of expected it, after all, the last PET scan showed various spots of new cancer growth. Don't loose sight of the big picture now,I have metastatic disease & I'll always been off & on treatment. When I'm 66years old, I'll die of pneumonia, K!

Have a great weekend,ya'll! I will.

Last Day of Radiation

Hi all-
After 10 treatments, I've completed radiation! I didn't eat ice cream for breakfast, but I did dance a little jig in celebration. My uncle also gave me great news, which only made the day even better! So, I'm ending my evening, writing to you all, sharing my events & joy.

The dirt road that cancer has had me on, sure has been full of pot holes, but today the ride has been smooth! Days like today, are what we look forward to while participating in this battle. Please continue to write me; I still, and probably will always, draw my strength from all of you.

We won this battle!

Sunburt, with a heavy heart

Hi Friends & Family,
With a heavy heart, I write to you folks to let you know that after nine radiation treatments, I have skin irritation and fatigue. Both are normal with radiation therapy. I am fortunate to only have 10 treatments, versus another gal I heard of just completing her 52nd.

Like I said, I am fortunate, but I write tonight, with a heavy heart. This week, we received news of a friend and great sailor that lost his battle against Leukemia. My world is crushed because I just talked with him, only last week , and he, like many times before, inspired me! He was happy and full of hope, and I can still hear his positive words. He told me over a year ago, "Stay strong & fight hard"; something I have never forgotten---something I will never forget. Then I was told by a colleague of mine, that she was just diagnosis-ed (is that the right spelling?)with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. This is the same disease that I have, or had? Do I still have IDC? I don't really know that answer.

I feel, many sad feelings, for my friends, for his wife. I wish I could do something for them, somehow ease ..... I feel very sad. Both families are in my hourly thoughts, and my daily prayers. Please include them in yours; I'll owe you one if you do! If you haven't taken the time today to tell your family that you love them, please do.

Just for right now, "Live like you were dying", and tell everyone you love how much they mean to you. God bless you!

Halfway thru Radiation

I've completed five days of radiation, with only five to go. The process in uneventful, therefore leaving me kind of at a loss for words. My skin is developing a slight sunburn, without me having the pleasure of getting out in the sun. I've been using Aloe lotion that the radiation doc & nurse issued me. It is good thick lotion; kinda smells bad!Maybe I'll start adding some Lavender to it.

I feel blessed to have to do just a few days of radiation. I've heard stories of folks have 60+ days or more of radiation; I feel bad for them and wish that somehow I could help. That is why I feel blessed to have so few days of radiation. Another blessing, is Steve being able to take me. I'm just thankful his job allows him to be this involved with my care.

As usual, I'd like to express my appreciation for your words of encouragment. I read that guestbook & comment section a couple of times a day. Your support helps me stay positive; a key tool in fighting cancer. Thank you to each of you!

Day One of Radiation

Hi all,
'Interesting' is the way I'm feeling about my first day of radiation, and a bit uneventful. Whenever Steve is with me, nothing eventful happens.

I got to lay topless in my body cast, in a warm CT room. Who has ever been in a radiology department,and it be warm? It isn't right, not the norm for sure! Steve stood by, caressing my lower left leg while the techs aligned me into that exact position, I previously talked about. The techs arranged the machine a few times before it was right; they continuously explained what was happening & why. I really appreciated being told what was happening; the knowledge gave a tiny bit of relief from the anxiety of the experience. Once I was in correct position, I was done. It was such a quick evolution, that I didn't know it occurred! The techs assured me that the future visits will be a lot quicker. I'll keep ya'll posted.

The paint on my chest got touched up, because after five days, it had started to wear off. Now, my color is a greenish-blue! The marking is now in a "sorta" oblong position, smack in the middle of my boobies! You can see just a little bit of the green-blue paint when I wear a regular collared shirt.

Like I said, uneventful day. I suppose the experience, and the actual radiation counts as an event, if I had to have one. Maybe I should say, nothing tramatic happend, & no major tears were spilled! I'll keep you guys updated in another day or so.

For those who have signed the guestbook & or left me comments, thank-you! This new battle has a new set of fears associated with it. The words of encouragment, and love keep me centered & focused on the positives. Thank-you for helping me get through this! Talk to you soon....

One year anniversary of mastectomy:August 17

Hi all-
I write to you on a Sunday afternoon, one year after the day of my mastectomy. Since I've had to have cancer, I'm relieved to be on this end; a year later.I'm hopeing to be bloggin next year on this same day. Today has been much more pleasurable than last year. I spent it with friends & family, in the sunshine. We had a great day of living!

Looking back, I feel its been an emotional, and eventful year. Shaving my head, receiving chemotherapy, racing for the cure, having a great Christmas with friends and family, ending chemo, trying to go back to work & then realizing that I couldn't,a bone biopsy, and now I'm about to start radiation.

One year and two days after my mastectomy, is when I'll start radiation. Last Thursday, I had my "fitting" for radiation. I call it a "fitting" because I laid on a chemical that makes a cast of my upper body. The chemical is pored into a big, garbage bag & is secured close.That's when I was instruted to lay on the bag. The techs (there were two of them)then tape me to the garbage bag, so that it molds against my body, fitting snuggly against me. While I laid there exposed, waiting for the chemicals to harden, the tech began to mark guide lines with a paint pen. "From high on the sternum to diaphragm" is what this tech was instructed to mark. The same markings were placed on each of my sides, ending in the axilla area. Right before the actual CT scan started, the tech placed marking beads along the paint line. I don't completely understand it all just yet, but from what I do know, all of this combined is to get me into a position for exact radiation, and then to get me in that exact same postion, for 10 days. Once I've had the radiation experience, I'll be sure to blog and let you all know all the exact details.

After my "fitting" was complete (total about 17minutes)I was feeling pretty down, and even shed some tears. (I'm not as tough as most of you think)The tech who has the great job of chemical pouring, taping, drawing with paint, etc... hugged me tight, and even cried with me. The experience was so overwhelming, I forgot her name, but not her compassion or gentle touch. I'll learn her name tomorrow, remember it for always,and thank her for giving me such great care. I don't admire her job.

Needless to say, that I don't feel like being in a bathing suit, exposing the painted belly/sternum! Even though my weekend started out, shaky, I was able to relax, and some have fun. I've learned that shedding those tears, getting them out, and then living, is the right way to handle everything. (at this point,for me)

So here we are, at the beginning of a new fight, and I'm ready, Steve is too. He is such an advocate for me. Whatever the calling might be, he puts on that hat! I'm so thankful that he is in my corner, loving me & caring for me. I also want to say, that I have some really great friends, with great children & their really big chi-wa-wa, Glodie, who give me the support, laughter, and love that I need to get through some hard times. (i wont mention names because i don't have permission to do so)Of course, there are many friends in my corner cheering me on with encouragement, jokes, & love; thank goodness I don't have their permission to include their names, because that list is long! I feel blessed to have so many loved ones on my side!! Thank you .....

Radiation Oncology Consult

Goodmorning all,
I'm sorry I didn't blog last night, time just got away from me. Everything is okay, and I should have told you all sooner.

In short, I will be receiving 10days of radiation to the sternum area. "Rad Onc" doc seems to think that this big burst of radiation, in this short period, will reduce the metabolic activity, and reduce my pain. Reducing my pain, is music to my ears! I hate taking all these pills, calling every week for a new prescription, and then dealing with the pharmacy. "I'm sorry Mrs.Capps, according to my computer, you just had a refill 10days ago. Our calculation of how much you still have is......"They don't take into account that some days I might need to take more than the minimum, which is how they calculate. Anyway, radiation is going to take care of just more than the pain in my chest!

I am happy, and I know this sounds crazy. Keeping my eye on the big picture: I have metastatic cancer,and will always have to deal with it, until I"m 65 and die from pneumonia! For now, if all I have to do is 2 weeks of radiation, so I"m not in pain anymore, than I"M eager to do it. The driving to, and from the appointment is the inconvience. I'm up for the battle that cancer wants to wage with me. I'm determined, stubborn, and have an excellent support system. (ALL OF YOU GUYS!!)

This Thursday the 14th, I go for my measurment with CT. My understanding of this, is using active CT, doc will mark me somehow for the real radiation appointment. Thursday is when I'll get my schedule for when I'm to come for radiation. Anyone up for taking me everyday?.... I'm joking.

That's all I have for now. Thank you again, and again, and again for all the concern & support. I sure am blessed to have all you guys rooting for me! Take care...Tiff

Pathology back

Hey-
Oncology doctor called me today, to give me the results of the biopsy I had on Friday. I have cancer! OMGosh....right! Nah, this is something all of us already knew, but never had confirmation of. That biopsy gave us solid evidence that my cancer has returned and invaded other parts of my body.

Tuesday, August 12th, we meet with a Radiation Oncology doctor. We will be discussing a plan for radiation, but I'm not exactly sure of the details yet. I will blog all that information tomorrow.

Not sure what else to say on the subject; its metastatic cancer. I'm facing this next battle a lot smarter, and more positive than the last time I went up against cancer. I plan on being the exception, and prove everybody right when they say I'm tough & strong.

On another note, I've been thinking about participating in the race for the cure again; the second annual teamtiffany showing up to represent. Do ya'll think this is a good idea? Any feedback would be appreciated! Take care....

Fridays Update

Hi there,
Sorry its taken the whole day to get to the computer to write but Steve & I were busy at the hospital(all day).

The short version of this story, is that my cancer is back, with some new(more) disease. Metabolic activity in my sternum is larger, I have a new positive lymph node in my right axilla area, and I have a new positive, peritracheal tracheal lymph node, and the lymph node in my clavical has grown big enough for a biopsy.

Doc sent me right to ENT who confirmed that this was a lymph node of specious size and that I should have a biopsy. ENT sent me right to ultrasound, where I had a biopsy and the results should be available next week. The results are just a formality as it does appear to everyone that this is all recurrence. Long story even shorter I should be starting radiation therapy soon, and my Doc is going to look into available Chemotherapy treatments after I am done with radiation for whatever the radiation is unable to hit.

I feel fine after my biopsy. I wish I had something positive to report but the hits just keep on coming. I guess the bright spot in all of this is that now that I have measuable disease in my body they are hopeful that they can reduce the pain in my sternum with radiation, and I might be able to get in on some type of clinical trial.

For now I think I am just going to try and relax this weekend and enjoy time with my husband and my dog.

Friendship

I am thankful for the many friends that I have, especially the girlfriends. I am lucky to have many girlfriends in my address book and cell phone contacts; I truly have been blessed.

Recently four different women, from four different parts of the country,came to visit me. I am honored to have had these women visit! Each of these women have touched my life in some positive way, more than once. I am at a loss for how good it felt to see these gals; after all it has been a number of years since I had seen any of them.

It felt really good to constantly laugh (even though it physically hurt) and feel the excitement of hearing & sharing stories from the past. I am thankful to have had the opportunity to see these women, get to know them again, and let them know I truly care about them.

I don't know what my future holds, but we penciled in another visit for this time next year. You'll find that I don't feel comfortable planning to far ahead, 'just because'.

Even though I have stage four, metastatic breast cancer with an unclear future, I feel like the luckiest girl! These four women are just a few; I've made many great girlfriends over the years. I'm extremely lucky to have to many to count! Cancer can't take that away from me, ever.

Thank you girls..... for your friendship!

Sorry

Sorry friends and family,
For not blogging anymore than I do. My justification is that, when something happens or changes, I blog. In the mean time, all is the same. However, I didn't realize that some of you still check in between to read my blog. I don't want to waste anyone's time with all my complaining. I've been feeling pretty poor up until this last doctor's visit where he changed my medications. Since that visit, my pain has been under control and I have been able to do more things. A girlfriend picked me up Monday and we got our nails done. Its not much, but I got out and was able to enjoy the event without being in pain. I was hot-flashing like crazy though! (thanks Kay!)

Yeah, hot-flashes in the middle of summer isn't pleasant. Most of you know that I love to be out in the sun in some capacity or another and usually have a wonderful tan constantly. This year, you'd think it was still cold and I lived further up north and never got out. I'm pale to say the least. GUYS-- hot-flashes is a horrible thing your gal has to go through, so please understand. Wear a sweat shirt so she can have the room she's in cooler or give her some kind of ice pack! As if women didn't have enough girl stuff to worry about....

What else? I'm still not adjusted to being a stay at home wife; I wish I could still work outside the home because truthfully, I miss that pay check! However, I've been reading and that puts me to sleep and naps cut most of my day away; ingenious! Since I'm a neat freak, I'm always finding something new to clean or clean out! This wears me out well enough to put into a good nap; so as you can tell, sleeping seems to be the way I'm spending my time. I'd think that my body needs this rest, or it wouldn't allow so much, right? Doesn't seem logical that a "normal" person could put in that many sleeping hours! Any suggestions for an outside athletic gal?

I'll try to update more often. Next week on the 5th, is my next PET scan. I'll be sure to write then. Take care

Another update

Hello-
Mondays appointment went good enough. The three of us came up with a plan to A)relieve some of my pain, and B)to find out what the heck is going on.

August 5th is my next PET scan, and then a few days later I'll follow up with the doctor. Depending on what we see (or don't) determines which direction we'll go? I maybe seeing a thoracic doctor regardless because of the pain I continiously have in my sternum.

In nut shell, thats all I have. I'm trying to make the most of each day. Hope each of you are well this summer. Write when you can....

Anniversary of it all

Hi all,
I'm happy to be on this end of having cancer. Last year when I heard, I had to have a mastectomy, I thought my life was over. Looking forward to the actual surgery, I knew specifically, what was going to happen from the moment the nurses rolled me away from my family, until I got to recovery; I knew the motions of the surgery. However, being a patient, a recovering patient was something forgein to me.

I don't know when it was, late August or early September, I began to fast walk,that led into a very slow jog. I knew then, I was gonna be okay. I realized that, Cancer had taken my breasts away, the stuff that makes us look extra girlie, but it had not taken my determination or my passion away. For that I am thankful! I'm thankful to be on this end of having cancer.

I'm smack in the middle of a new battle, and unknown one. I'm in constant pain,& full of narcotics. I replay 2007's late August or early September in my head. Remembering what it was like to start slowly jogging again. It sure did hurt, and it sure did tire the hell out of me, but the fact that I could do it was all that mattered to me. That same determine gal is still inside me, she's just drunk from medication! I know though, that I've been okay once before, and will be again. Patience (most of you know that I'm not the very best with this) is what will help me win this next battle.....AND, the support from you guys!

The notes ya'll leave on my site are so supportive. I read those messages a couple of times a day, more on the days when I've got the blues. Please continue to visit the site, check up on me, and leave me a note.Thank you for what each of you have already done, and thank you in advance for......being my/our friends.

More information about what's next will be posted as soon as I know more. I'm scheduled to see my doctor 7-21, maybe I'll know more then.

Anniversary of

Today signifies the day I officially found out I had breast cancer.

Not Bone Cancer

Hi all-
I hope that this note finds everybody well, and overly patriotic from this weekend.July fourth has always been my favorite holiday! My parents always made it such a fun day for us. There were cook-outs, friends, carnivals, artillery stlye fireworks (my dad was army artillery), and then we went home for the real fun. We managed to live in a state where fireworks were illegal to the public. However, mysteriously my dad would always shoot off roman candles & bottle rockets & screaming eagles! To this day, the fourth always brings around fun memories.

In addition to my favorite holiday, we got the great news that I do not have bone or bone marrow cancer! What a relief; you gotta know a huge weight has been lifted from our minds knowing that the pain I'm enduring is not cancer! Needless to say, I'm still taking narcotics around the clock for pain management, because even laughing hurts.

Cas was here, from Atlanta, this weekend too! And even though I wasn't able to do a whole lot of go- go- going, we managed to have a good time. Cas & I even got robbed! Yep, someone swiped his camera from my bag when we weren't looking. Even though this is a crappy thing to happen, we had to laugh because on top of all that has transpired, we are still vulnerable to petty thieves! (sick humor I suppose!) Having my boy around helped me feel better, & reminded me of why I want to get better.

Cas' visit is the huge reason I was unable to get this posting out sooner. I neglected phone calls and the internet to spend all my waking time with him; sorry.... As most of you know, when your adult child comes to town, its a special event!

So you gotta know, that I'm a happy gal today.

July 2

Hi all-
I was worried I might not make it yesterday. I felt terrible, and knew I was probably dying..... Then I had some coffee & a shower, and miraculously I was better! With the help of my drugs, I feel okay this morning, better than yesterday, but nothing like normal. However, I might get dressed, and try to comb this lovely hair of mine today!(for Mickey-i'm only wearing socks)

A year ago one this day, I had my first & only mammogram. That mammogram changed my life. Its been a tough, long year, but I'm thankful to be on this end of it.

The beginning of July

Hi family & friends,
I feel like I've been beat up, but just in my chest. When I use my arms, chest muscles or if I lay down I have sharp pain. You can tell by the time I'm posting this message that I'm having trouble. Its the pain I'm feeling while asleep that doesn't allow me to stay that way. I'll talk to my doctor during normal working hours about tweaking my pain medications.

Yesterdays biopsy went well, and if not for the reason why I was there, I'd call it a good experience. The pre-op nurse started my IV in only one try! (thanks Helen) The Interventional Radiology nurses were compassionate as hell. They made me feel special, like I was the only thing that mattered. Thanks Janet & Eileen-not Irene, ya'll do great things! The doctor got the specimens he needed, and probably made it as painless as he possibly could. Now we just wait a few days for the results to come back.

I want to say, that I've gotten really good treatment at Naval Medical Center Portsmouth. Since the day I walked into Mammography, I've been treated like a VIP. Maybe its because I've got cancer, or maybe that's how they treat everyone, but with the exception of the dietician I saw(i dont think she was very bright & felt like she wasted my time), I've gotten great care. I needed to say this, spread the word, because with military hospitals one usually only hears bad things. I hope you guys get as great of care as I have.

So, me & my narcotics are waiting patiently! Steve is staying busy with crazy work hours, and with marathon training; which I'm out of now, if you couldn't already guess that. He can't quit now, because he's running this for both of us. As much as I was complaining about the how hard the training was, I was proud of the fact I was actually doing it. Having to quit, is sad. Praise Steve, for doing this.

Does anyone know why I feel the need to type in purple these days? My eye gets drawn right to the shades of grape, and I'm not sure why. Just wondering....

Monday June 30th update

I received a call from Tiffany about 4:20 this afternoon that she was on her way home from the hospital and that she was doing alright thanks to all of the medications they had given her. She was pretty sleepy but she was recouperating much better than the last couple of time that she has to go in. She will be resting at home tonight but will try to log on soon.

Karen

June's latest

Hi all-
June 30th, I will be having a biopsy of my sternum & surrounding soft tissue. For weeks now, I've had discomfort in my chest area. However, this last weekend discomfort turned into pain. The pain feels like someone punched me square in the chest, and in my chest muscles, like I've bench pressed hundreds of pounds. (neither has happened)

Since Monday, I've been taking MS Contin ( a kind of morphine) and Vicodin. As you can imagine, I look like I'm half asleep;good thing is that, I'm not in any pain! Doc says that my body will get used to taking these meds, and eventually I wont be so lethargic..... lucky me!

Please think of Steve, and I on Monday. I'll blog again as soon as I feel up to it, so until then, take care.....Tiff

A week of estrogen

Hi all-
Thought I'd post how my last week has been.

As you can imagine, my emotions have been on that roller coaster again. When I got the remission news in February, I thought I was done with that darn roller coaster. I'm okay and am trying to stay positive. After all, I have metastatic cancer and will probably be in and out of remission a lot during the rest of my life, right? If anyone has any wisdom to share about living with disease, please email it, or post it so that others can benefit from it.

This last week on estrogen has been hot! Not because its 90+ outside, but because its a symptom of the drug. Doc say's its only going to get worse too! Yikes... Steve has been extremely helpful in reminding me to take the darn stuff daily; but then Steve has been wonderful through all this! I wont go get all sappy about my husband, but he sure does deserve an award or something for being so wonderful throughout this entire ordeal.

So, I'm feeling well with the exception of being steaming hot inside under than fan. I'm working on updating pictures. I've grown a lot of hair since we last posted pictures, although I don't think its anything special. Most men we know and love have less than me, which still doesn't make me feel good, but hey.

PET scan news for Monday

This latest PET scan shows that I have metabolic activity in my sternum, that has only gotten bigger since my April scan. It also shows a positive lymph node in my right clavicle area, that was not there in April. This node is .6cm in size, currently to small for biopsy.

In a nut shell, my cancer has returned.

I"m going to wait until the end of August to have my next PET scan, this way I'll get to have all summer without worrying about being a patient. In the meantime, I'm going to try an estrogen blocker to see if this makes a difference with my latest cancer. Don't know if you recall or not, but my cancer didn't grow in estrogen (meaning my cancer was/is estrogen negative). This medicine wont hurt me, only make my hot flashes worse. BUT.... it "might" help; its a reach. Lets just wait to see in August.

Don't know what else to say.....


Hey, at least I get to keep my hair with this treatment

Number 5, I think

Hi friends and family!
Don't know if anyone still checks this website or not, but I thought I should keep the updates coming as anything different happens.

I had another PET scan today; I think it was my fifth one. I read back to my first PET scan experience and I had to shake my head. I had forgotten how horrible that day was. Since that experience, Steve and I've learned that for those 90minutes of waiting, my mind needs to be occupied. He's provided me a way to stay entertained during that time, all the while checking on me. If anyone ever reads these blogs, and then has to have a PET scan themselves, learn from my first mistake. Take something to keep your mind busy. Don't sit there in the dark, by yourself, and comtemplate why your in the nuclear medicine department.

We should get the results from this latest scan Monday afternoon. I'll blog again when I have the results.

Otherwise, I am doing well, and feel really good. Most of my strength is back, as well as my stamina. Did I tell you that we are training for a marthon? Yes, a marathon. Training is hard, but its easier than chemotherapy, or a deployment. Wish us luck. My hair has grown out alot in the last few months. I can almost part it and the hair actually stay put. I've learned to use mousse and gels. Now that it is summer, I've gotten a health tan, which has taken that chemotherapy sick look away. All in all, I say that I've made great progress in the last five months.

I'm doing good, and staying positive. I hope each of you are too! Please stay in touch we me/us when you can.

p.s. Remind the women in your life to do breast exams and/or get their mammograms!

Little did I know...

The second Saturday in May2007 is when I went to the doctor, because I had found a small "cyst" in my right upper chest. I found the "cyst" just two days prior, Thursday, late in the evening, and made the first available appointment Friday morning. The day of the appointment, Steve went with me because I was so concerned.

The doctor was pleasant enough, and seemed to settle my concerns, telling me to "stop touching the cyst". I came into the office with a big black X on the "cyst" because it was so small and hard to find. Because the doctor could move the "cyst" around, he was sure it was nothing, maybe a small cyst or something related to or surrounding my period. Doc wanted me to stop touching it, and come back to be seen after my next period.

I remember being so relieved, I think Steve was too. I went on with my weekend, even going out of town to northern Virginia to visit my girlfriend. Little did I know that this visit was the beginning of many to come. Little did I know, this was the beginning of my battle against cancer.

Latest scan results

Hello-
I'm sorry I didn't get to this sooner; thank you for reminding me to blog. I apologize for my tardiness with the results.

For the most part, all is well. There is a new spot that my doctor's are going to watch, that might be associated with me having bronchitis recently. Doc seems not to be concerned, therefore, neither are we. My next scan is in June, and all will be well then!

I feel great, in fact I'm back jogging again. The weather has been warm here, so I'm out in the yard trying to create a garden.

Hope each of you are healthy & happy. Stay in touch when you can, we'd love to hear from you!

Doing well

Hi friends&Family!
As most of you know, I'm not the most electronically savvy gal out there. I blogged last week, but the post never took; more like the operator didn't do something right. Anyway, I don't remember what I wrote exactly, so I'm just going to write again.

I"m doing well after my reconstruction surgery. I'm off any pain meds, and have been doing lots of physical therapy in the yard. (shared wisdom from of one of my favorite shoulder, ortho docs) I feel really good. My new "girls" look good too; now that the warmer weather is here the true test will be when I put a swim-suit on!

We are still awaiting the news from my last PET scan. Doesn't matter what the official news is, I feel great and have a really great out look on how life is. I'll be posting the official news once I receive it.

Thank you again for the continued support. Steve and I are thankful for everything that each of you have done!

3 days post op

Hi All-
I'm doing okay, sore. However, my pain is controlled with narcotics, even though I'm not a huge fan of taking a lot of pills. I"m also getting plenty of rest, which is a nice change from the usual. I still don't sleep much due to hot flashes and night sweats, but the narcotic coma I stay in seems to over ride menopause symptoms!

More updates as time passes!

Update for Tiffany

Just got a call from Steve. He wanted me to let everyone know that Tiffany made it through surgery just fine and that she is at home resting and will post in more detail when she is up to it.

Karen

Up late

Dear Friends & Family-
I'm sorry for not updating this blog any sooner. Truth is, I've been recovering since the last time I wrote & didn't have anything exciting to share. I've been regaining my stamina & some strength. I've even gotten my hot flashes under control, so I've gotten several good nights sleep!Much slower than I'd like, things are returning back to normal.

I'm only hours away from my reconstruction surgery, & am once again, I'm faced with the anxiety of going to surgery, and the recovery process. I know this is a much less invasive surgery than the last, but I'm still nervous. Not much else to say about this: I know it has to happen....

Again, thank you all for the support and good cheer over the last several months! The emails, phone call and letters have helped me in so many ways. Thank you!

Good News!

I finally have great news to share!

"There is no metabolic activity to detect, therefore my cancer is offically in remission"!

Everybody: Thank you for your support, words of encouragment, emails, letters,& phone calls! I appreciate the flowers -cards&balloons, the hospital visits, the road trips you made, sitting with Steve(and smoking those cigars!)both websites, the boa, the tee shirts, getting up early on race day, the hair cuts, the earrings made, walking/jogging when you really hate it, the delivered dinners(and the ones out) the pink shoe, the pink water jug, the knitted blue shaw, leaving messages in my guestbook, the magazines, the rides to and from, and all the love included in prayers. I'm appreciative of my my friends, their supporters, and my family. Without your support, enduring this disease would have been impossible.

I hope folks share my story and learn from my mistakes. Get checked, or encourage your loved ones to get checked, go to the doctor even though you hate it! Stay on top of things, and take care of your bodies. Stop taking life for granted and appreciate the small things in life. Its taken cancer for us to realize these words; learn from us!

Anyway, thats my news! I'm happy to finally share some good news with the people who cared so much!

Updates as they happen

Hi all-
I wanted to share with you some future information.

January 30, 2008 is my next PET/CT scan. I wont get the results from this test until the following week when I visit my Oncologist on February5th. I'll be sure to post the results when I get the news.

My reconstruction surgery wont be scheduled until March, but I don't have the exact details for that just yet. Apparently, this will be the first of a few procedures for reconstruction process. I'll be passing along this information when I know more.

Thanks to all those who keep asking, and wondering whats up. I appreciate the many phone calls, letters and emails that each of you send. Thank you for your continued support!

The last two weeks

Dear Friends & Family-
I wanted to let everybody know that I'm starting to feel better. This is the week where everything changes! Now that I'm feeling better, they say I"m going to stay that way. Just like everything else Steve, the doctors, and supporters have told me, I'm going to have to just believe. I'm really anticipating the day when I start to feel like Tiffany again; again they say it wont be long now. 8-)

Anyway, thought I'd update everybody on how I'm feeling. Medically the next step is reconstruction. I"m planning this for early March. In between now and then, I"m planning on recovering, and gaining back strength.

So,that's it for now. Thanks for all the support each of you have shown me!

Monday, January 7, 2008

Dear Friends,
Happy New Year! My second blog of 2008 brings news of my last chemotherapy treatment! I had my last Neulasta shot as well, and I"m on my way to recovery. After the last three & a half months treatments have brought me down a few notches, making me not as strong physically or emotionally as most of you know me to be. The hair is gone, the eye brows you see are make up, and you may notice that the hats I wear match my outfit in some way. However, this all means that I"m fighting my way through this marthon, keeping the finish line in site. My doctors, my sweetheart Stephen, my mom, my son, and my dear friends all tell me that its smooth sailing from here; that I've crossed my finish line & accomplished my marathon.

However, until I don't feel the side effects of everything, and not until I start to see sprigs of hair on my head will I feel like I've finished treatment and stop feeling like a cancer patient. It took months for me to accept the fact that I had cancer, and had to endure the things I needed to, to fight cancer and win. I'm thinking I may not just bounce back to the old Tiffany right away now that my treatments are over (even though I'd like to). More time has to pass, more recovery time is ahead of me; and then there is more surgery in the month of February... a good kind.

So, 2008 is looking better than 2007 ended, but this marathon is not over for me. Maybe I'll upgrade this run to an ultra-marathon (something I don't for see in my near future!). I'm doing it, I"m fighting it, I'm trying like hell to endure it, and stay the same, stay positive, and think positive. Man, all that is hard to do.

However, with all that being said, I draw strength from the people who have surrounded me with love and hugs. Please don't stop supporting me now friends and family, this is the time I'm going to need each of you the most.

The Eve Before Last Chemotherapy

I'm feeling many things tonight. With the completion of chemo tomorrow, I feel like I"m getting my life back. However, I do know that the marathon isn't over yet. I feel like I'm at mile 16; almost there, but still far enough away from the finish line.

There is a bell on the Infusion Unit folks ring when they complete treatment. I've already got my camera packed so that I can get a photo of this monumental occasion. I've been thinking and dreaming of ringing that bell for months now; I"m excited, and nervous that the day is here.

Please think of me around 2pm East coast time on the 4th. I should be finishing chemo, and ringing that bell around that time.

"Thank You" to those of you who have signed my new guestbook. I'd like to say, again, that "I'm sorry" the other was lost. The founder of that site tried really hard to save my guestbook, but unfortunately it was lost; she deserves a huge pat on the back for all her efforts. Please continue to visit this site, and feel free to post as many messages as you want! I love hearing from all my friends and family.